I really admire people like Tavi Gevinson, and Lorde, and idk anyone else that I can't think of right now who have made waves in this world of young people getting shit done, making a name for themselves--creatively and shiet. Ah its just awesome and admirable what these people are doing.
Ok I'm kind of lost in my head and my thoughts as I'm writing this, lol, while still trying to make clear what i'm thinking/meaning to communicate, so just bear with me as I'm attempting to map out my thoughts lmao (what am I saying??)
I'm just saying, I guess, that I think it's cool as shit that young people like the aforementioned can embrace their creativity and possible outcast-like characteristics, and come through and change culture, or like idk have influence over their generation and such. Even though society, or even just certain people--maybe even yourself--can be so negative, can limit your goals, can bring down your confidence and imagination and ambitions and just idk your whole persona.
I said this before, but when I was younger(11 or 12 yrs old to be exact), I really wanted be a popular blogger (or at least have some kind of small following) and actually, Tavi was a real inspiration in that aspiration ('lol'iration). She was this off-beat, peculiar 12 yr old kid at the same time I was, and she had a popular fashion blog and, I wanted to be corky and as seemingly self-assured as she was.
But then growing up happened and you know, you try to fit in as much as you can while still keeping your identity. So both a) trying to fit within socially acceptable norms and b) developing and maintaining one's own individuality, morphed together and became a part of who I am today (or so I think?).
These past few years, I've acquired these confidence issues where I'm always doubting myself, degrading myself for not being as skilled in certain things as so-and-so or whoever. I'm always looking up to others, and wishing to be more like them, but rarely ever content with myself. Idk where these issues came from..part society, part parents, part maybe personal laziness (??). Let me explain. Negative thinking really gets to me, and myself and other people saying things like "you can't do that, that's impossible!" or "the likelihood is very small, and ya you definitely won't be able to do that" or "no you wouldnt be good at that" or "thats weird, nobody does that" and just all this putting down and filling with doubt really convinced that all these beliefs are true. And then I use all these beliefs as excuses for why I don't even try to achieve things of my own--excuses that in actuality mask my laziness to not try to achieve things. Its just easier to sit around and be a lazy teenager, just going about the small (though still equally important) things like doing homework and focusing on school and friends and other aspects of life.
So what I'm getting at is that I really commend and truly admire those who have fought off this negative, closed-box thinking; their laziness; accepting their unconventional-ness and embracing it. Them standing their ground instead of being wishy-washy in what they believe in, and basically forcing the world to celebrate them through sheer creativity, talent, and perseverance is so fucking wonderful and I love it and okIthinkI'vesaidenough,bye.